Tales of the Human Walrus by Peter “The Mordo” Juan

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A Hairy Situation

April 15, 2008

I’ve been bald by choice for so many years I’ve actually lost count. A shaved head, I believe, is the look that suits me best. And then of course there are the inherent advantages to being bald. I never had to worry about how my hair looked because it was impossible to get it messed up. As such, I never had to contend with the dizzying array of hair products available now. I never had to go to a salon. Any good ol’ barber could cut my hair and they could only go wrong if they shave off a small chunk of my scalp. In fact, I didn’t even go to the barber shop all that often because I could shave off my own hair with my trusty Gilette Mach 3. Simply put, I like being bald. It’s awesome. Think about it, some of the most awesome men in history were bald. There’s Michael Jordan, Samuel L. Jackson, Winston Churchill, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Professor Charles Xavier just to name a few.

I was supposed to get my head shaved last weekend because I haven’t had time to actually shave it myself and my hair’s gotten too long for my Mach 3 to handle. But then, my lovely wife asks me to grow my hair long again. She wants me to keep growing it until next year. Now you have to understand why this is rather disconcerting. I mean, I’m not going to deny Jen of such a simple request. Thing is, the complications of having hair actually worries me a bit, not to mention the fact that I doubt I’d look good with hair. I mean, I already don’t have much to work with here. Dark skinned, overweight, with a lop-sided smile, that’s me. The bald head at least gives me some attitude. I suppose I’ve just gotten so used to this:

that I am reluctant to look like this:

or possibly this:

Okay, so I probably won’t look that horrific…But it can’t be too far off now can it? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Posted by peterjuan at 1:27 am | permalink

Previous Comments

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah!!!!!!!!!! *tummy aches from too much laughter*

Now that you put it that way, ok, you can shave off you hair now.

Posted by Sexy Nomad at April 15, 2008, 8:10 pm

Or grow a beard. Chick dig the upsidedown-head look!

If the dame insists, sport a mohawk!

Posted by Steel at April 15, 2008, 9:06 pm

So I see that Jen has changed her mind. Good thing, cos it’s going to be aaaawkward. I’ve seen the Chrizo with too long hair for a shaved head and it looked funneh.

Posted by Helga at April 16, 2008, 6:25 am

The second picture was the funniest! It reminded me of some actress in our local horror movies! hahahaha

Posted by Maki at April 16, 2008, 6:42 pm

@Sexy Nomad, Thanks babe! I will when I get the chance. The weird thing is now, I’m kinda curious how I will look if I do grow my hair again.

@Steel, The last time I grew kids got scared of me they actually cried. And this was in church.

@Helga, I can only hope to look “funneh” if I grow my hair back. I’m expecting to look a little, “Heedeyoos.”

@Maki, I actually thought I looked like a dark skinned Japanese pro wrestle…wait! ACTRESS?!!! WTF?

Posted by Peter "The Mordo" Juan at April 17, 2008, 1:35 pm

the things men do for women nga naman, oo. hehehe

P.S. Jen’s request sounds so similar to my own request to Schroo hehehe.

Posted by van at April 21, 2008, 7:52 am

I see how your techniques work!!!!!!

I bow before the master.

Peace.

Posted by Ozy at April 24, 2008, 7:47 pm

it’ll take almost a year to grow your hair that long.. takes a lot of commitment

Love the facial hair on the 3rd pic btw. 3 pronged goatees are teh awesome

Posted by manly stuff in general at April 25, 2008, 1:15 am

AAargh!

*Ooh wait that’s the BEFORE picture*

AAargh!

Posted by boyingcruz at April 28, 2008, 5:28 pm

@Van It’s been way too long iha! Glad to see you blogging again!
.
@Ozy, Much more to teach you I still have young padawan.
.
@Jaywalker, Actually, my hair grows at an alarmingly fast rate. I’d say half a year to grow it long enough for a ponytail. Also, NEVER going to happen.
.
@Boying, Say what now? You look like you’re making sense but really, you’re making no sense. Ok so maybe a little. No sense at all. Ease off the happy grass sir and try again. Thanks for dropping by. Good day and blog on!

Posted by Peter "The Mordo" Juan at April 29, 2008, 12:26 pm

HAH! That’s funny. Yes, baldness adds identity. Plus, a good cover-up when one could possibly lack hair the natural way lol

And come on, dark skin adds identity too! I should know oh so well about that one =P

OH! You forgot ONE more character with the bald look going for him. LEX LUTHOR!!!

Posted by Ash at April 30, 2008, 8:34 pm

baldness fact of lie lol

Posted by finch at May 9, 2008, 10:45 pm

peter…i like you bald or with hair anyways. just shave off the goatie!!! mishu so much.

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A Hairy Situation

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