Aftermath…

While I've been thankfully free from the shackles of the debilitating writer's block that plagued me for months, I have opted to keep mum about much of the things that kept this side of the blogosphere buzzing with activity, from the drama of that was the UAAP Basketball championship to the comedy that the Desperate Housewives brouhaha turned out to be. To be honest, I've been preoccupied by the exciting developments we've been cooking up for all the bloggers here on I.PH and I have been more than content working behind the scenes, hoping that I might, in my own little way, contribute something of importance to the blogging community.

Then Glorietta happened. I followed it in the news, discussed it with friends and felt just as bad about it as most people. However, I was not compelled enough to write anything about it. Until now. I came across this email, which was posted in The Man Blog forums of all places,which knocked me out of my sweet comfortable apathy and compelled me enough to act. The first time I read it, it broke my heart.

It was written by a man named Carlo Cruz, who most of you have probably heard of by now as he's been interviewed in the papers, radio as well as TV. I do not know Carlo myself but he is the friend of the wife of a good friend of mine and while that might seem like nothing to some, it drove hard the point just how closely this hit to home. Nothing I could write would bear the same weight as Carlo's email, so instead, I am posting the entire thing here.

Good day everyone,

     I wish I were writing under different circumstances.

     I would like to inform you that my wife Leslie Cruz
     was part of the casualties in the Glorietta 2 Mall
     bombing in Makati City, Philippines. She was supposed
     to have a minor out patient surgery at Makati Medical
     Center at 230pm.

     I had taken a leave from work to accompany her there.
     We dropped off our daughter, Amber, at my parents
     place in QC to babysit at around 10am. We then
     proceeded to Makati and was there at 1230pm. Since she
     had been fasting in preparation for her procedure, she
     wanted to move ar ound and listen to some music while I
     grabbed a bite to eat. We parked at the basement of
     Park Square 2, and headed for the Glorietta 2
     entrance. We parted at the top of the escalator, she
     turned right towards Filbar's while I went left
     towards the restaurants. That was the last time I
     would see her.

     Around 120pm, she had called me so that we can meet at
     the Glorietta 2 exit just in time to make her
     appointment. As I made my way there from Glorietta 1
     through the connecting hallways, and was about to turn
     the corner, I heard 2 deep thumps and the shock-wave
     from the blast hit me. At that moment my heart dropped
     as I knew that the origin of the blast came from the
     same place where we were supposed to meet. I tried
     getting to where my wife was, but the dust was too
     much and it was as if I was staring at a white wall.

     I still tried to convince myself that she was able to
     make it out, and that after ringing her mobile without
     a response only meant that she dropped it in the
     confusion. After 6 hours of searching from Makati Med.
     to Ospital ng Makati, the blast site, and back again
     to MMC - with the help of all the people I could get
     hold of, that I was able to get confirmation in what
     the state of my wife was.

     My Dad and Uncle signaled me in from the ER of MMC. My
     Uncle (who's a doctor) asked me to describe Leslie's
     appearance to another group of doctors. I saw in the
     eyes of one that the description made sense. Instead
     of confirming it to me, they huddled together, then
     brought me to a small examination room. It was only
     through a digital camera that I was able to confirm
     (and deny) that she was indeed gone.

     I have so many regrets. I should have met her sooner.
     I should have ran instead of a brisk walk. I should
     have not chose to park where I did. I should have
     braved the dust and went in the blast site. I should
     have …

     Today's the 4th day. It is still terribly difficult to
     breathe, let alone wake up realizing that your source
     of strength, your best friend doesn't lie beside you
     on your bed. That my deepest worry is when Amber
     starts asking for her Mama.

     I am glad that Amber's too young to understand the
     loss and pain. In time I would like to tell her the
     details of how her mother died, but more importantly I
     would like to raise her as how her mother lived - a
     loving person, strong willed, decisive, caring, and
     nurturing. She has always cared for her family and
     friends, and sacrfied her career for being a full time
     mom and home maker.

     As with all couples we had our ups and downs - none of
     which I regret not going through. The sweet is never
     as sweet without the sour. For almost 4 years of
     marriage, we've finally hit our balance in life only
     to be taken away in an instant. I have no regrets
     about our marriage. She has loved me and Amber beyond
     her capacity. I will always love her.

     It is my first time to write to egroup as I've lurked
     and watched emails being sent to and fro. All I want
     now is that for each of the couples here is to cherish
     each moment that we spend with our loved ones. Pretty
     simple to say, very easy to take for granted.

     Thank you all for the prayers. I would still like to
     ask you to please include Leslie in them until her
     40th day so that the path to God's kingdom is well lit
     and she is no longer in the dark.

     Sincerely,

     Carlo Cruz

Carlo, I am deeply saddened by your loss. Leslie has my prayers and so do you and the rest of your family.