I am not Mike f@#k*ng Villar

I’m happy to say that our eloquent retardedness seems to have found a receptive audience. For instance, The Man Blog was featured last Feb 6, 2006 in Blog-o-Rama in the Manila Bulletin (Thanks Annalyn!) This of course resulted in a massive increase in our "fan base" as evidenced by the deluge of hate mail we’ve been getting. This is all well and good of course and makes me jump up and down with joy. (well not really, another boobie pic might do the trick though) The thing that bothers me most is that almost none of this hate mail is ever directed at me. Now that pisses me off. One reason why I started The Man Blog with Mikey is because I am a glutton for punishment. Yes dear readers, I am a masochist.

I briefly considered the possiblity that I might be getting soft, that I’ve lost my edge, that I’ve lost, heaven forbid, my evil nature. But then, alternative reason was brought to my attention. Mikey’s Attrocities of Friendster series and my Myspace Patrol was being discussed in a thread in BNC Extreme. Some of the posters thought it was freakin hilarious, while the others saw it as filth. Either way, Mikey and I were happy for the attention. And precisely because Mikey and I are attention whores, we decided to jump in and join in the discussion. What bothered me was the fact that at some point, the posters assumed that Mikey and I were the same person. I mean, what the hell?! (chanel!) Granted, we share the same kind of sick twisted sense of humor (it’s a gift, we know) but we write nothing alike. I actually had to insist that Adam Mordo was not one of Mikey’s personalities. (besides, I was the one who suffered from MPD, but that’s another story.) What sucks is that very few people actually believed me.

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Mikey actually get’s a freakin "fan site". Some humor impaired, possibly neurotically insecure guy Mikey decimated in one of the AOF series seems to have devoted his time to actually take Mikey down. I’m not jealous or anything, You all know I love Mikey to pieces. (in a purely heterosexual, non banana gangbang involved way) What really got my goat is that this turd’s site (which will remain unnamed and unlinked because it deserves no traffic) reffered to Adam Mordo as Mikey’s ALIAS!!! So now I’m nothing more than a goddamn moniker? What the fuck?!!!

Let me say this loud and clear, Adam Mordo is NOT Mike Villar! Adam Mordo is MY effin pseudonym. I, PETER EMMANUEL D. JUAN has, is and always will be ADAM MORDO! How difficult is that to get through one’s head? I mean, c’mon…just hover your mouse pointer over the name Adam Mordo in The Man Blog and you’ll see my site down on the lower left hand corner of your screen. Click it and it brings you here to my personal site, where I have PICTURES! I know Mikey and I are somewhat shaped similarly and weigh about the same but we look nothing alike. So you see, figuring out that Mikey and I are two separate individuals doesn’t need half a brain. So what in blue blazes is the freakin confusion all about?!!!

But at the end of the day I have to partially attribute my loss of my online identity to my relative inactivity in cyberspace. But that ends today. From this moment, I will initiate a four point plan of recovering my pseudonym!

Identity Recovery Action Plan

• I will troll around every single Cueshe, Hale or any other pretentious "rock" band’s fan site where there is a forum. There I will post as , "Adam Mordo AKA Peter Juan" and share my enlightened opinion of the band and their music, which will go something like, "How come Hale’s lyrics don’t make any sense? Is that all you have to do to make it in this business? String together some big flowery words and sing th your too-far-apart eyes closed tight and boom! You’re a star. What ever happened to talent?"

• I will post my pictures in various stages of undress with every article. It won’t be pretty but hey, I’m not here looking to turn anyone on.
  
• I will create a bogus "fansite" of my own and send the link to everyone in my address book and when they’re not looking, my officemates’ address books as well.
• I will blog hop like the freakin Energizer Bunny and leave ridiculous nonsensical comments like, "To be is all i gotta be, and all that I see, and all that I need this time. To me, the life you gave me, the day you said goodnight"

That’s my short term plan for now. I welcome any other suggestions you might want to throw at me.